Quake 4

Subtitle: What the FUCK happened here?

Let's back up a bit...

Quake was landmark title, it was so good that despite us being in the age of Modern Company of Honour*, where sequels of the 'big names' of the modern shooter genre are just tiny incremental improvements, there are still people playing Quake, Quake 2 and Quake 3.

So... what's wrong with Quake 4?

Well... Unfortunately it is essentially of the modern age... and it's shit, thus the subtitle.

It's strange really, Duke Nukem Forever comes out with all this fanfare... and disappoinment. Quake 4 barely rated a mention... I didn't even know it had come out until I got it on special on....

WAIT FOR IT!

Steam.

It's funny because it uses imagery from a comic about child abuse...

This game is essentially a bad modern warfare... it's like taking the obsession of realism from modern warfare and mixing it up with over the top movie US Marine bravado and bullshit gears of war Space Marine gorilla men.

Oh, and the ending is stupidly bad.

That's really all I can say... this game shouldn't exist, it's like a squibs fart at the end of a series with an otherwise great pedigree. It takes away from the series. I mean, if I show this to someone that hasn't played any quake game before, would it make them want to play the others?

NO!

And even if it did... it would be under false pretenses... because it is soooo unlike any of the other quake games! Even quake 2 which has a similar story and setting, plays it in a much more sobre and subtle way.

Play something else... I know I did. That's right, I didn't finish the game, I looked up the ending on youtube. Glad I did or I might have snapped my keyboard in frustration at the time I wasted to reach that ending!

...bloody useless game. I don't even remember what made me play it as long as I did. Oh, there was one section that was interesting; at one point your character gets captured, and partly converted into a Strogg Trooper (mind control, cybernetic enhancement, etc), but you're rescued before you mind control is turned on. Up to that point, you really do feel kinda helpless and it was actually pretty engaging... then it ended and all that really happened is that you were now stronger and had more health.

Meh. Wasted opportunity for some really dark story telling.

Keeper3,
Oh how the mighty have fallen, ID... just die gracefully.

*Modern Warfare, Bad Company, Medal of Honour... and it is 'honour' NOT 'honor'! I speak and spell the Queens English!

DLCs and the death of the expansion pack...

DLCs are interesting... In essence, the DLC is a replacement for the old idea of an expansion pack... How many "expansion packs" have you seen in the last few years? Beyond the next sack of insipid content for your chosen poison of the MMO variety I can't remember any.

Sooo... is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Well, ultimately it doesn't matter. The slow, unstoppable change to electronic distribution won't be stopped by our complaints or any misstep by any random company. But let's look at it anyway!

Positives:
DLCs allow you to buy only the content you want! Each DLC can be a bite sized bit of content that is both easy to download and install yet give you plenty of enjoyment for your money and bandwidth.
DLCs are easier to make than an expansion, meaning more content will be available (on average) compared to what we used to see.

DLCs are a less risky method to providing content, allowing developers and publishers to release more experimental types of material that in our modern profit driven existence might not otherwise see the light of day.

Negatives:
DLCs are the next stage of non-complete-release-itis; back when games were on cartridges or floppy disks (that were actually floppy! *gasp*) it was bad practice, worthy of flogging, to release a game with any notable bugs... let alone leaving the game unfinished! These days incomplete games are sadly common, with endings that show a lack of care and game killing bugs, poor design... etc. DLCs are often promised to fix various issues, a DLC pack should not be considered a good way to deliver bug fixes.

Stupid ideas for DLC! E.g. Horse armour... FUCK YOU BETHESDA!!! Simple model and skin changes, stupid boosters to your characters for no good reason... Essentially pay to win booster packs for your game.

And finally, Day One DLC; this has a special place in my cold, dead heart, Day one DLC covers any 'content' that is either used as a stick to flog people who buy a game second hand or as a way pretend a game is cheaper than it actually is and sell important game content at an inflated price. EA are especially guilty of this practice and seem to have elevated it to a level of an art form providing BOTH TYPES of day one DLC for their most recent opus, Mass Effect 3 (Oh, and a review is coming for that one folks!).

Conclusion:
DLCs are good overall, but it's clear that just as any game that comes out can be a piece of garbage fodder or the best thing since sliced bread DLC content isn't necessarily good or bad so my advice? If you love a game and it's got DLC have a look, otherwise ignore.

Keeper3 - Ooooh... there's DLC for fallout 3 that makes it NOT CRAP!!! Oh wait, that was a mod, nevermind.

EvE Online

Soooo I've quit WoW, as those who read my blog would know, and to fill the void I've been playing EvE; a game once described as "A game for those people who are to nerds, as nerds are to normal people".. essentially people who are nerds squared.

Is this true?

Well, yes and no, EvE does require more patience, more research and math than say WoW. It's a weird little game with a small community consisting of many little factions, alliances and mobs each with their own slightly different spin on what the game is about. PvP, missioning, pirating, industry, Planet Interaction or all of the above and more.

It's a broad yet deep game, it's almost too much and can scare new players away... though there are plenty in the community that don't mind.

Ultimately it's a niche game, a niche full of amusing nerdy stuff about flying through space and doing almost whatever you want... a little like elite.

...the physics are kinda fucked though; it's like flying a submarine.

Keeper3; I likey my space ship... it goes zapzap!

Brought to the Brink...

So, Brink. This one has been beaten into the ground, hell I wouldn't have bought it but it was sooooo cheap on Steam (Damn you Steam!!) I had to have a go.

Look Brothers! It is the great Double Penis Tower of the ARK!

It's a somewhat pretty game, and it runs fairly well so I think it balances graphics and performance... it didn't crash often, only once during my clearing of the campaign that I remember.

I actually kind of like that all the classes can essentially use all the weapons, meaning classes are separated by their specific skills alone.

The game modes are competent...

Uh... things went boom?

I think the main problem with Brink, is that it was advertised as something AMAZING-ING-ING... and it's not. It's alright. Mediocre. Average... with little to recommend it.

My biggest problem is that the single player story attempts to make both sides look good based on the rhetoric of the side you're playing at the time... with no resolution. The way the story is told one or both sides MUST be lying in their briefings to the player in some of the missions and it's not revealed when you're finished the game. Which annoys me, it's bloody sequel bait (Ha!).

...and that's it. It's mediocre.

Don't buy, or if you must, buy it on special... like I did.

Keeper3; developers, stop promising the earth then delivering a candied turd!

PS ...the English-y voices were kinda cool.

Diablo 3

Yes, yes... I know Diablo 3 isn't out yet. And no, I haven't been to the future to play it... but I came to a realisation a few days ago.

I don't care about Diablo 3.

meh

But why? I enjoyed Diablo; it was a fun little game that twisted the old dungeon crawler concept and had good graphics.

Diablo 2 improved on the original with a better interface, graphics and gameplay.

Diablo 3 seems to continue on this tangent... but I just... don't... care.

Is it the real money Auction House?
Is it the Permanent online software protection?
Is it that Activision will find some way to fuck the online experience?
Is it that Blizzard cannot balance their way out of a paper bag and a random class will dominate from week to week?
Is it that it's likely that cheaters will find a way to break the game?

...let's say it could be any number, or all of them.

Oh well, one less game to even consider having to pay for.

Keeper3 - Blizzard have overdrawn on their account of fan-dollars, and the Bank of Keeper3 has closed their account...

It's been a while... Also; SPACE SHIPS!!!

Soooo... it's been a while. There are several reasons for this but it can be summarised thusly: lol RL lol.

My review of the Dungeon Keepers will come soon, but technical difficulties have stopped me from properly playing these games... which makes me very sad. :(

Anyways, let's talk about a game that I haven't had technical issues with... A game in a genre close to my cold, unfeeling heart.

Sword of the Stars...

This isn't a new game, though it's not old either, but somehow this one snuck under my radar. Regardless, I've just finished a few single player games and I have a few thoughts...

First, ultimately, SoTS is good; quite good... though there are a few things I would change this is just tinkering with an otherwise great game.

The graphics are great, the music is atmospheric, combat is visceral and the loss of each ship feels like a punch in the gut, or the nuts if it's a particularly valuable ship. The only thing missing is a few cut scenes when you're victorious or defeated at the end of the game... ATM all you get an image saying "YOU WINNAR" specific to your race... which really lacks the awesomeness that matches the quality of the rest of the game. Something like the intros using in game space combat with a voice over would be sufficient... and kind of awesome.

If you like strategy games, turn based games like Lords of the Realm 2, Master of Orion 2, etc... you'll like this one; a lot. Get the expansions too.

Keeper3; IMMA FIRING MUH LAZAR (at yur planets)!!!

Need for Speed Hot Pursuit...

...also known as "Need for More Stupid Cut Scenes".

Before I get into a rant about a few small things that NfS:HP did that bothered me... slightly. Let me say that the basic game here is fine, quite amusing actually. Even though NfS: Hot Pursuit is not new I found myself reasonably impressed with the graphics, it ran well and the gameplay was mostly solid though the physics seem a bit weak at times...

So it's good... but.

THE CUTSCENES ARE GOD-DAMN FUCKING IRRITATING!!!!

Every race has a cutscene to start, every new car you 'earn' gets a cutscene, every time you 'rank up' there's a cutscene, there's a bullshit splashscreen that pops up after every race acting like there's some huge issue because I'm not logged into the stupid online ranking system, the game tried to force me to watch an advertisement when I ran it for the first time, it lasted 8 minutes... I alt-tabbed and watched youtube.

I SHOULDN'T FEEL THE NEED TO ENTERTAIN MYSELF BECAUSE EA DECIDED TO JERK OFF ABOUT THEIR OTHER GAMES FOR 10 MINUTES!!!

...in short, NfS:hot pursuit is like a delicious chocolate with a filling that isn't perfect... coated in EA's love spunk.

You might want the chocolate, but you've got to wipe all the spunk off first. Hope you have a lot of tissues.

Actually, that's a better name for the game... "Need for Tissues: EA spanks it all over you..."

...ultimately, it's a side complaint, but I just don't get why we need all these tiny cutscenes breaking up the gameplay, wasting time and being unskippable. That's the big thing for me, the vast majority of these things are unskippable and that just amplifies the irritation...

Keeper3, EA have some really fucking stupid ideas sometimes.

I remember the original test drive... in that game you just drove in races and no stupid cutscenes! ZOMG!!!