Sooo... I was gonna bash the shit out of this game, but recently I had an epiphany.
It was late one night, I was trying to sleep and a thought popped into my head "man... I should finish watching that western movie thing..." It took me a minute in my sleepy state to realise that I was thinking of the game, not a movie.
It was this game in fact, Call of Juarez. While this CoJ:BiB has it's fair share of flaws; rushed story, plot holes, barely average voice acting, boring weapons, etc... it manages to be competent in it's western setting and it's flaws don't bring the game down just irritate.
So what we have here is a decent western game on the PC, not amazing, not bad... just ok.
But it's just so nice not to have to deal with yet another modern or futuristic fucking solder/space marine idiot with exaggerated bravado that it elevates what is otherwise fairly forgettable.
In short: if you like westerns and shooters, you'll have fun with this flawed gem.
Also: FUCK YOU ROCKSTAR!!! RELEASE RED DEAD REDEMPTION ON PC ALREADY!!!
...and don't do a shitty port, implement proper PC controls.
Keeper3: I don't ask too much, gimme a game I'll play and I'll give you money; that's fair.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Bulletstorm... bah.
Ah... Bulletstorm... what can I say that hasn't already been said?
It's childish, overreliant on swearing (fucking distracting when the bastards swear so much eh?), hyperactive story, silly guns, etc etc...
...and I don't like it.
But; the above description could also be Duke Nukem 3D, and I loved that game!
Sooo... what's happened here? Have my standards increased? I am seeing TEH DUKE through nostalgia goggles? Have I matured?!? (say it ain't so!)
Nah, it's none of those things! It's that Bulletstorm has all of the gimmicks, all of the stupid with none of the carefree spirit of Duke Nukem or any of the shooters of that age.
As an example, in Bulletstorm you have this skillshot thing, you kill stuff in strange and amusing ways to get points... is this fun? Interesting? Funny? It would be if it wasn't shoehorned into the story and forced upon you...
You know what the skillshot system is? It's just what you do in all shooters when you get a little bored, stuffing around with guns to see how many dudes you can gib at once, or how many enemies you can impale with one shot of your tree cannon... or whatever. Just formalised, and given rules... and you have to do it all the time.
Fuck that. Next time you put skillshots in take away the need to make these skillshots and try to have cool shots give points, rankings or whatever; not currency. And make them based on loose rules rather than fully defined so the player can just create their own shots either by accident or by design.
...otherwise Bulletstorm is a competent, if short, shooter. Skip it unless you're really into shooters and you need a fix that isn't another bloody "modern" shooter like modern warfare 23, bordom ops or Battlefield elite bad company good day 7.
Bulletstorm; proving the old adage "Any fun activity can be ruined when it becomes necessary and bound by rules." (like driving! :D)
Keeper3; my car goes Brum brum! My car goes Vrooom!
It's childish, overreliant on swearing (fucking distracting when the bastards swear so much eh?), hyperactive story, silly guns, etc etc...
...and I don't like it.
But; the above description could also be Duke Nukem 3D, and I loved that game!
Sooo... what's happened here? Have my standards increased? I am seeing TEH DUKE through nostalgia goggles? Have I matured?!? (say it ain't so!)
Nah, it's none of those things! It's that Bulletstorm has all of the gimmicks, all of the stupid with none of the carefree spirit of Duke Nukem or any of the shooters of that age.
As an example, in Bulletstorm you have this skillshot thing, you kill stuff in strange and amusing ways to get points... is this fun? Interesting? Funny? It would be if it wasn't shoehorned into the story and forced upon you...
You know what the skillshot system is? It's just what you do in all shooters when you get a little bored, stuffing around with guns to see how many dudes you can gib at once, or how many enemies you can impale with one shot of your tree cannon... or whatever. Just formalised, and given rules... and you have to do it all the time.
Fuck that. Next time you put skillshots in take away the need to make these skillshots and try to have cool shots give points, rankings or whatever; not currency. And make them based on loose rules rather than fully defined so the player can just create their own shots either by accident or by design.
...otherwise Bulletstorm is a competent, if short, shooter. Skip it unless you're really into shooters and you need a fix that isn't another bloody "modern" shooter like modern warfare 23, bordom ops or Battlefield elite bad company good day 7.
Bulletstorm; proving the old adage "Any fun activity can be ruined when it becomes necessary and bound by rules." (like driving! :D)
Keeper3; my car goes Brum brum! My car goes Vrooom!
Friday, March 4, 2011
WAAAAAAAAGH!!!
I love warhammer, especially Warhammer 40k... so you'd think when Warhammer comes to the PC I'd be all over it, right?
Weeeeeell... the problem is I love the story of warhammer, the ideas the characters the philosophy of it... the "fluff" as it's called I find is the best of warhammer; never really liked the tabletop thing. So a game is only good if the fluff comes through the game intact and the game itself is competently made...
No one gets any points for guessing a good Warhammer game, just look at Dawn of War or one of it's many expansions or sequels; except soulfire or whatever it was called, what a PoS that was; sisters of battle? What a gyp! Buggy as 'eck... and ugly too! Dragged DoW down the plug 'ole that did.
Hrm, where was I? Oh yeah... I was saying good things.
So Dawn of war is good, warhammer online is pretty good (not to my taste), I'm sure there's a few other solid games around... but hang on, what's missing there? We have strategy and RPG, but we don't have a good shooter.
I LOVE a shooter with a good story with strong gameplay elements ripped right from said story... Have there been any warhammer shooters? Well... there have been a few I'm sure... but the only one I've found is Warhammer 40K: Firewarrior. (space hulk doesn't count, it's more strategy than shooter... though it is awesome)
I played the PC version of Firewarrior... and I can safely say that without the Warhammer franchise behind it, it would simply be a bland, poorly crafted shooter. The fluff keeps you in the game long after you would otherwise drop it like the piece of shit that it is...
Just as an example: the AI sucks horribly... you're a tau warrior, a soldier that focuses on long range shooting and is terrible at melee, your main enemy is the imperial guard and a few space marines. There are enemies that ambush you with a chain sword... we're talking your biggest weakness, close quarters fighting with no warning... and the fuckers just seem to dance around you swinging their swords impotently! The only way you'd get hurt is if you jumped into their flailing... It was retarded; and that is just the dumbest thing not the worst; the graphics sucked and the game was ugly, the sound was boring, the difficulty curve was schiztophrenic, maps uninspiring and confusing, etc, etc, etc...
What was sad, REALLY sad is that the story was actually pretty good; it was all that kept me going though what was otherwise a horrible experience in every way until I finally lost interest and deleted the game unfinished.
Sooo... gaming industry, Games Workshop... find someone that'll do Warhammer justice and give us an AWESOME FPS set in the Warhammer40k world... or the fantasy setting, we could have a hack and slash game too. That'd be nice.
...it's a setting begging for someone to run around shooting and/or slashing things. :D
Also: DoW 2 is awesome, buy it if you like strategy and Single player campaigns that don't feel tacked on (*cough* Starcraft2 *cough*).
Keeper3 - Man, I really do have a hate on for Blizzard these days, eh?
Weeeeeell... the problem is I love the story of warhammer, the ideas the characters the philosophy of it... the "fluff" as it's called I find is the best of warhammer; never really liked the tabletop thing. So a game is only good if the fluff comes through the game intact and the game itself is competently made...
No one gets any points for guessing a good Warhammer game, just look at Dawn of War or one of it's many expansions or sequels; except soulfire or whatever it was called, what a PoS that was; sisters of battle? What a gyp! Buggy as 'eck... and ugly too! Dragged DoW down the plug 'ole that did.
Hrm, where was I? Oh yeah... I was saying good things.
So Dawn of war is good, warhammer online is pretty good (not to my taste), I'm sure there's a few other solid games around... but hang on, what's missing there? We have strategy and RPG, but we don't have a good shooter.
I LOVE a shooter with a good story with strong gameplay elements ripped right from said story... Have there been any warhammer shooters? Well... there have been a few I'm sure... but the only one I've found is Warhammer 40K: Firewarrior. (space hulk doesn't count, it's more strategy than shooter... though it is awesome)
I played the PC version of Firewarrior... and I can safely say that without the Warhammer franchise behind it, it would simply be a bland, poorly crafted shooter. The fluff keeps you in the game long after you would otherwise drop it like the piece of shit that it is...
Just as an example: the AI sucks horribly... you're a tau warrior, a soldier that focuses on long range shooting and is terrible at melee, your main enemy is the imperial guard and a few space marines. There are enemies that ambush you with a chain sword... we're talking your biggest weakness, close quarters fighting with no warning... and the fuckers just seem to dance around you swinging their swords impotently! The only way you'd get hurt is if you jumped into their flailing... It was retarded; and that is just the dumbest thing not the worst; the graphics sucked and the game was ugly, the sound was boring, the difficulty curve was schiztophrenic, maps uninspiring and confusing, etc, etc, etc...
What was sad, REALLY sad is that the story was actually pretty good; it was all that kept me going though what was otherwise a horrible experience in every way until I finally lost interest and deleted the game unfinished.
Sooo... gaming industry, Games Workshop... find someone that'll do Warhammer justice and give us an AWESOME FPS set in the Warhammer40k world... or the fantasy setting, we could have a hack and slash game too. That'd be nice.
...it's a setting begging for someone to run around shooting and/or slashing things. :D
Also: DoW 2 is awesome, buy it if you like strategy and Single player campaigns that don't feel tacked on (*cough* Starcraft2 *cough*).
Keeper3 - Man, I really do have a hate on for Blizzard these days, eh?
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